Revealing as little as possible… — On my birthday, I decided to do an “about me.” So quaint, I thought. All these nice writers telling the 100 million average monthly readers about themselves in earnest tones. Why they are special. Why they write. Why we should read them. Nope. Not me. This is the ANTI version…

Keep reading and I will tell you — I’m expecting a package. Not that kind of package, lol. Get your head out of the gutter, peeps. A real one! From one of my online shopping late-night binges. A haul of slutty clothes. Things that are a dead giveaway. “I’m having an affair” sort of stuff. Not one item…

The path of extramarital fornication — Stage 1: The despicable’s. Cheaters are the lowest of the low. “I would NEVER cheat.” “What were they thinking?” “How could they do that?” This stage is marked by profound puzzlement at the decisions of fellow men. Adultery is NOT an option. That’s a dirty word. “I’ll never cheat,” you proclaim too…

Why I get hit up by all the young guys when looking for a lover — I’m a MILF, apparently. Young men who I’m not the least bit interested in want to fuck me. “You’re so hot.” “I love older women.” “I’m so attracted to your maturity.” “Girls my age bore me.” “I need a real woman.” “You are just what I want.” Dudes, you don’t…

Another brilliant ad from r/naughtyfromneglect — It has been brought to my attention that my personality isn’t going to cut it anymore. Neither will my rugged good looks. Or my intellect. Sorry mom. “You are perfect the way you are,” isn’t sadly enough to lure wayward married vixens on the internet. Therefore, I will have to…

The lowest of the low like Adam Levine — Who wouldn’t I cheat with? A man who has a pregnant wife. That’s the lowest of the low shit, right there. “Oh, I don’t have sex at home.” “I’m not attracted to her anymore.” “She doesn’t take care of herself.” (Uh, no? She’s a model.) Really? Then, how did she…

When it’s a day to remember! — “When was it exactly?” I asked my lover. “Around this week, I think. We met for coffee in mid-September. Then we both had trips, and I had Covid…and we couldn’t see each other again until mid-October.” We didn’t mark our calendars. Ya know, cheating and all that. “Thank God, you…

Blowing up your life. — Maybe you should be risking for something better. The blowing-up-your-life level comes with real hazards. Enter the water and you might become shark bait. See above. Though, perhaps, you are gaining. What, you ask? What could be worth the risk? The freedom. That’s what. FREEDOM. No more looking over your…