Let me tell you when I knew… — “I’m thinking about dipping a toe.” “I can’t get it off my mind.” “I think I’m ready.” Are you really ready to cheat? I’m going to be blunt — if you are questioning yourself, you aren’t ready. Nope. You are on the fence. Not until this is the last option. And, I mean LAST. The one…

Tell the Scarlett Letter your secrets — “She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom.” ― Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter It’s a new year. A new you. Let go of your secrets. Tell them to me. I know I felt the freedom once I started writing about my secret life. It was a huge weight lifted. …

The Do’s and Don’ts — Writing a profile for an affair? I’m looking for a lover. I can help you. It takes quite a bit to get noticed as a guy. Let me guess, you’d like hot sex, some romance, clever conversation, warmth and caring with a sexy lady. Is that too much to ask for? YES. It’s a tall order. Believe me. The odds are not in your favor. Many more men looking than women. It’s the way of adultery. The women who are fucking out of…

Revealing as little as possible… — On my birthday, I decided to do an “about me.” So quaint, I thought. All these nice writers telling the 100 million average monthly readers about themselves in earnest tones. Why they are special. Why they write. Why we should read them. Nope. Not me. This is the ANTI version…

It’s a recipe for self-loathing — “My nipples don’t look like hers!” I point out. “WHAT? Yours are delicious and gorgeous,” my lover says as he cradles my breasts tenderly. “You have to stop comparing yourself to women in porn.” “I know…” I sigh. We watched porn in bed together — to show each other what…

When time seems to stand still and speed up — Time moves fast in Affairland. A week can feel like a year, a month is a decade. A year must be a lifetime. Every minute is both agony and ecstasy. The magnitude of emotions are multiplied exponentially here. The highs are absolute euphoria. People will notice. You glide effortlessly through…

When breakfast is the most important meal of the day — F4M, 43. Looking for my snap, crackle, and pop! Will you make my rice crispies more appealing? Brighten my day? Perhaps a cheery, “Good morning, beautiful” to look forward to? Or do I get soggy cereal in milk? I’ve had enough GrapeNuts to last a lifetime, if ya know what I mean. I’d like to meet my Captain Crunch…

The dead bedroom question you never ask — “Go find sex,” your wife spits, but doesn’t mean it. Followed by: “You’re sick!” “I don’t think I can ever satisfy your needs.” “This topic is too painful.” “Do you see this is hurting me as much as it’s hurting you?” This is in response to the “can we have an open relationship?” question. That’s the adultery can of worms. Once you say it, the suspicion is there for an eternity.

You know it’s the beginning of the end — “Why did he leave me unread again?” Texts sent. Never answered. You are stumped. You need help. Should I just ask, do you think? But, on the other hand, maybe I don’t want to know the answer. “I was busy.” That ole nugget. It’s a huge word, yet a small one. …