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M4F— Why I Think My Penis Needs an Exorcist
When an ad looking for a lover is a horror show
49 (M4F) Why I think my penis needs an exorcist
Look, I was horny.
I bought a flesh light from a gypsy behind a flea market after my reading.
“Will I find the affair partner of my dreams?” I asked.
“I see the Devil in your future!” she chanted.
“Like a she-devil?” I asked hopefully. “A sexy vixen? Maybe in slutty lingerie?” I seriously could get behind that, I thought. Some torn holes in tights and a bra falling off? HELL, yeah!
“NO. Like the horned goat himself!” she hissed.
“I’m a horny goat! That’s perfect!”
“You fool!” she warned.
She did seem a little “off” now that I think about it. The whites of her eyes were a little too visible, I remember.
“Dang, lady, you might want to wear shades when you’re out in public!”
She drew her mouth back and I worried about her teeth next. “And maybe see a dentist!”
“You are horny?”
“Hell, yes, I’m so horny!”
“Buy this ‘toy’ and all your desires will be answered,” she whispered.
“How much?” I asked.
“It’s free for…
