OMG, I wrote "CAN" be first, and then I thought about it and changed it to "SHOULD." So weird! It's like you were in my head! But, 100%, I agree. It's always "can: and not "should." It's a choice. And no one is indebted to have sex against their will. Just like my soon-to-be-ex hubby never ever wanted to touch me (for a decade) even when I made advances towards him. He didn't value sex. Or warmth, for that matter. He turned away hugs. Pushed me away for trying to spoon him in bed. I just couldn't tolerate the pain of rejection anymore. And I asked for a divorce.