Sliding Into My Twitter DM’s

It’s not just for millenials any more

Eleanor on Unsplash

I have never been a lothario.

I’ve been separated for well over two years, and what should have been a very simple divorce has been made complicated by a STBXW (soon to be ex-wife) who A), thinks she is going to clean me out, and B), is using Covid exceptionally well to delay the proceedings. I travel a ton for work, I have a dad bod, and I am in my 50s. I never saw myself as a hot commodity on the dating market.

That hasn’t stopped me, though. I have dated a bit, and after 25 years of a dead bedroom, I have done my best to make up for lost time. My biggest obstacle is that I am a helpless romantic, and I am in continual search of my true love. (No, I am not making this up. My college girlfriend told me I was perpetually stuck as half a relationship waiting to happen.)

Much to my surprise, a very attractive woman (well, if her Twitter pic was to be believed) slid into my Twitter DM’s late on Saturday night. So attractive, in fact, that I thought she might be a Russian bot, or a Nigerian scammer — but when I looked at her account, I quickly saw that we had several mutual friends. (I work in advertising, and it appeared that she works in television.)

I wasn’t sure why she DM’d me, but hey, she’s gorgeous, and I’m human. It was 2am…