Member-only story

The Neanderthal Guide to Cheating

Men How Not to Do It

MonalisaSmiled
4 min readJul 3, 2020
Gratisograghy on Pexels

“So, how’s married life treating ya?”

“You down?”

“We both want the same thing.”

“Let’s get a room.”

“Omg, I need to cum in that mouth.”

“Big fat dick for you, pretty lady.”

“Hi, r u free today?”

“I’m your man, baby.”

“Like to suck and ride cock?”

Don’t be a Neanderthal.

I am cheating, but not a whore last time I checked. Although the lines are getting a bit blurry. My life is entirely respectable except for scoping out men for afternoon “trysts.”

Making me feel like a free prostitute isn’t getting you laid, buddy.

So I am offering these tips for guys on how to not act like a Neanderthal when cheating. However, recent evidence shows that Neanderthals were actually a lot brighter than we thought. Not so true for the dudes I was coming across. Witness the above “lines.”

I get it that people are lonely and need to get laid. Ahem. ME. I respect horniness. I am horny, almost 100% of the time. BUT, ease back, my friends.

TO THE THIRSTY RANDO’S:

  • Your dick is NOT impressing anyone…

--

--

MonalisaSmiled
MonalisaSmiled

Written by MonalisaSmiled

Adultery 101. Dead Bedrooms. Sex out of network. I am terrible and human. So are you. Editor of The Scarlett Letter | P.S. I Hate You | Sexpressions.

Responses (1)